Memos

My last day! I slept at bj’s, it was a bit awkward on the sofa but I found a position that works. At some point in the night, I was woken up by Coda coming into the living room and I think I shouted out loud in fright!  I woke up proper about 8, texted…

Was gonna go home today, but checked out of my air bnb and stayed the night at bj’s  Dan picked me up today! Then we dropped my stuff off at bj’s, watched some kids music videos (like the hulk one!), anf watched some Daughty, and some mashups from Neil Cicigera Then went to Woking, to…

McDonald’s in the morning!  Went to Owens Played Sussed Bonfire, green fire, Owen setting fire to the gas container and me shitting myself! And Brody being very cautious, clever lad Hammering wood!  Chatting with Wills, watched him play mobile games: Rocket League, and DL:As on my phone  Went back to bjs Playing with Brody, hulk…

What we did : Owen picked me up, after I’d stayed up all night Went to Owens. In the car journey there, he told me about search and rescue teams Met Sally the American diplomat, she’s nice Went to the pub. Chatted with Sally, also Owen (about army, looking after your team mates, Band of…

~04:30am Sat Dec 25th 2021  (Xmas day!)  BJ FEELINGS When I have a mental problem to solve, like when I wanna fix or resolve something in myself, I just try a bunch of stuff until I find something that works. There’s a lot of deadends and I guess it’s hard work, I don’t notice that…

Do u want me to accept the jet black stone? Or do u want me to see u as that spiky, soft, red, pink one? X If u let that light in, don’t you too need to let in the darkness? Who even knows? When you’re adrift for so long, who even remembers what land…

[notes on a train, Granny + Alistair on listening] It must be hard for you You seem to be coping really wdll You tell them you’re ready to hear. If they’re ready to say it, you’re ready to listen. Leading questions. Just encourage them to talk. Just be there and listen and encourage, keep them…

Imagine how good you will be in 5 years time. Childhood. Charity. Give a pound for the box. A pound is a lot when you’re very small. But it’s ok. Then u grow up. And you have enough to give away. X I said to Alistair : As 8 was walking through here..I felt Calm…

Music by “War on drugs” Shen Yu (music dance Chinese) Book: the great alone Art by Matt Herring Keeper of the Forest Maiden of the Forest Lighthouse / Future Islands “I’ve been away… Away too long … Too long to be afraid”

It felt, last night, so familiar. Like I’d already witnessed the scale of everything. And, after I’d seen infinity (8) and I needed to pack my bag, while my mind drifted back, I said to myself, “yep infinite fragments within and from infinite fragments, yep the universe comprehending itself, etc etc that’s all fine but…

Cross your eyes. There: Two universes! …Younger self trapped in that cave of darkness, shattered self… Wants to recover but there’s a broken piece. Should she fill it, or cover it up and conceal it? –no. She’s hanging on to this piece. It has things she wants to keep, but it’s not connected to her.…

(train to museum?) There once was a girl named Lisa Who said it would be nice to meet ya When you finally did, She ran and she hid So you had to go out and seek her / So you had to go in to the forest to reach her / They went into town…