Notes

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My hand-written notes while I constructed the poem Diving.Most of my poems start this way. View full size – scaled

[Stuff that was removed from book chapters.] from Carrington Rd: I guess I can only be sure that a memory’s real if I can’t remember someone telling me about it. But even that’s not reliable. A girl I was half-seeing, Elizabeth, early or mid 30s maybe, she told me the story of how we first…

JAmes opened Daniel’;s door and cliked into his head, I rememberd misplacing my remembering

I just woke from a dream: BJ had lost weight, lost her boobs but was thinner (on reflection: more like when she was a girl) Work environment, but cosy: Woman kept fainting, someone else advised to take her home, get her to take a week off where she could just relax (and I saw how…

Lost boy in the forest * …why was that important to remember? Getting angry at Brody, what does he know of the difference? There’s always a choice. They don’t know the difference. It’s easy for anger to become the norm, if that’s how you’re predisposed to behave — just as it’s easy to feel joy…

🔊 Listen (pending) 📕 Read the Fancy Version This is part of a longer guide that might be called “How to manipulate people: A guide for idiots.” If you ever feel like you’re losing power, you must always reclaim it immediately. Right, so you’re in a meeting and you ask a question, but oops! The…

I just heard this wonderful quote: “Art is externalising what’s internal” (source) It reminded me of an insight I had last night. I was listening to Billie Eilish‘s live version of ilomilo (here), and it hit me how music is doing just that: expanding Billie’s universe into something that can be inhabited by other people. By listening to…

Talking to BJ about how God is a gateway drug – she said, “it’s just a joint” … very interesting how she just “gets” it man, these ideas of things much bigger. Maybe because we’ve both lived in split realities?

Today I was chatting with Dan, my brother in law, about types of games. He is hooked on Apex Legends, but I’m not a fan. I don’t like that I’d need to invest dozens of hours to git gud. Not that I’m opposed to that kind of challenge — I’ve started playing Bloodborne, and my…

I feel at a crossroads, and I don’t know how to proceed. But that’s not true. I do, but I know that both paths are right. I’m unable to make the decision, because both options are — I know with unbearable certainty — the right choice. I wondered yesterday if the dark/light spectrum that we…

The crushing weight of being a good writer I can write almost anything, as long as there’s a hint of darkness — something to overcome by growing out of a darker version of yourself; some ancient insight put into new words that re-contextualise a present darkness; something inexplicably beautiful that resonates strongest in people who…