I’m sat here thinking about what I want form a relationship… Might be the first time I’ve done this.
I’m thinking about what I’m looking for: Softness, at least at the moment. Someone I really fancy too, who does weird things to my mind and makes me feel weak in the ways you’d want them to.
It’s all kinda new. Usually I just sort of end up with someone I like, but now it feels like, not only do I know more about what I like, but I’m more motivated to find it.
I think I’m starting to understand my value more too. And that’s a big thing. Because when someone isn’t giving you something that you know you should be getting, you notice. Before, when I didn’t care what I got, or didn’t think I was worth something more, I’d just settle in and accept it. I’d go along with the unspoken idea that, nope, I wasn’t worth more.
[intention…]